Review by tmp for Disaster Movie (Unrated Widescreen)
Rating:
This movie makes “Plan Nine From Outer Space” look like “Citizen Kane” It’s unrelentingly tedious and unfunny; the only redeeming thing is that Kim Kardashian’s godawful performance is mercifully cut off early in the movie by an asteroid. I’d rather watch milk spoil than sit through this turkey again.

Review by Nuisance for Disaster Movie (Unrated Widescreen)
Rating:
Once again that talentless duo that is Selzer and Friedberg show that they can sink lower than Meet The Spartans with this steaming waste of celluloid. I thought that Meet The Spartans scraped the barrel when it came to laughs but this cinematic abortion breaks through the bottom of the barrel to scrape the ground the barrel is on to get laughs and it still fails!

These two chuckleheads still have the same bad habit of explaining the jokes to you as if you were retarded(if you liked this movie chances are you probably are). Examples: “Its an inconvenient truth, its global warming”, “Come here you Kung fu Panda”, ” I know because I saw Indiana Jones and The Kingdom Of the Crystal Skull”, “Let Me get my Get Smart phone”, ” I thought I’d cheer you up with a high school musical”, What is this enchanted place”. Sheer genius.

You know for a movie titled Disaster movie, you would think that they’d be spoofing movies like Twister, Dante’s Peak, Volcano, The Day After Tomorrow right? WRONG. The camera shakes a couple of times, You see some cheesy plastic asteroids, a couple of cows floating around and a very crummy CGI tornado. The movie targets films like Juno, Alvin and The Chipmunks, Superbad, High School Musical, Step Up, Enchanted, The Incredible Hulk, Kung Fu Panda, The Dark Knight and a slew of other summer blockbuster flicks including Hancock. Now tell me, what do these movies have to do with disaster movies? Nothing.

Nobody in this movie does anything that resembles acting and its safe to say that this “movie” is 100% laugh free. None of the “jokes” work and they just drag on for minutes at a time. Seltzer and Freidberg are unfunny hacks that killed a once funny genre with their grave dead brand of humor. If you want a good parody stick with Scary Movie(the first one), Top Secret, Johnny Dangerously, Airplane, Not Another Teen Movie, Mafia!, Baseketball, Hot Shots(part one and Part Deux), The Naked Gun Series, Dont Be A Menace, Hollywood Shuffle, Spaced Invaders, CB4, Spaceballs, Blazing Saddles, Dead Men Dont Wear Plaid, Last Action Hero(yeah, I said it), Robin Hood: Men In Tights, Duck Soup and every other spoof that came before the advent of Scary Movie 2. Disaster Movie is complete and utter garbage that even those brainless yokels that come on Jerry Springer wouldn’t find funny(yes, its THAT bad). Do not waste another dollar on these idiotic circus clowns (Seltzer and Freidberg)and their lame parodies.

Parody is dead and Aaron Seltzer and Jason Freidberg are the undertakers.

Rest In Peace Parody 1933-2008

Review by Renfield for Disaster Movie (Unrated Widescreen)
Rating:
INGREDIENTS:

2nd rate actors and comedians

Endless sex jokes

Unsubtle humor

Dumbed down Slapstick

Movies that aren’t disaster flicks

Cliche’d jokes everyone’s tired of hearing

Two talentless directors

A script full of all of the above

DIRECTIONS:

1. Take the two talentless directors and give them the aforementioned script.

2. Then, put in endless sex jokes and pop culture refrences.

3. Have lame jokes, such as Iron Man getting hit by a cow.

4. Hire a bunch of second rate comedians and actors to play the characters.

5. Don’t reshoot any scenes. Rush it as fast as you can so that you can get that paycheck.

6. Release it into theaters and watch MTV kids flock.

BEST SERVED WITH: A vomit bag, and a face-palming pad.

Review by dragonspawn for Disaster Movie (Unrated Widescreen)
Rating:
wow where to begin like the title says disaster movie it fits the movie very well and many more parody movies to release by i liked scary movie 1, 2 & maybe possibley 3 but after scary movie 1,2,3 all the other parodys really suck and painful to watch dont get me wrong i like some bad movies here there dinocrock, Peter Benchley–creature, or any of roger corman movies but these parody movies suck every time i see new version gets released parody of drama, action adventure, horro, or any other movie genre there not funny at all there some waht entertaining if your board and nothing else to do i recomend these types of movies but to have in your collection not at all they all suck.

is hollywood that bad that they cant come up with any good ideas of there own that they have to resort to making movies like this staright to dvd release or not they should not even consider making more movies like this i leslie nelson movies lethal weapon or soemthing they dont make laugh i will admit that but there entertaing wih very bad jokes i like his movies but movies like this one & many more to come to by not a chance im not going to make this review for all the bad parody movies that are out there theres just to many but does leslie nelson always have to have comdie chracter that is dumb wited & idiotc for once i would like to see him in a serious movie for once even if its one time thing only.

jet li what words come to mind when you see his movies action, adventure, scifi, many more no comedy what so ever, but jet li actually surprised me in one movie jet li, and jackie chan togeather in one movie the forbidden kindom jackie chan has serroisu character while jet li had funny comedy character the monkey king yes the only thing that jet li had done in that movie that made me laugh was peeing on jackie chans face to make him think it was raining it was intersting to see jet li to mix up his characters for change would i like to see jet li to have more funny characters that he plays no but it was good to see a change in him for once to see what he was capable of jackie chan is good in serous & comedy movies but lesilie nelson i would like him to see to go into a seroius movie even if its just one time hes always in these bad comedy movies superhero movie for example and many more try something new & stop lowering your self to these bad movies you look desperate doing these types of movies or these are the only films you like doing but at least pick good one & stop degrating yourself as an actor when your in these types of movies there not good

Review by ACEMAN1 for Disaster Movie (Unrated Widescreen)
Rating:
Welcome to the downfall of Hollywood, folks. Where uncreative, untalented, and uncaring writers, directors, producers, etc. are allowed to continue pumping out crap while talented filmmakers are banished from Hollywood because their films don’t make much money. Shame, shame. Now we’re left drowning in a wasteland of terrible films. This isn’t the worst film I have ever seen, but it certainly is one of the ten worst films I’ve ever seen.

WHAT IT’S ABOUT: The film is basically a horrendous parody of Cloverfield with many other crappy parodies thrown into it. Three nobodies are tasked with saving the world and rescuing a girlfriend, and to save the world the Crystal Skull must be returned to its altar. This film doesn’t flow cohesively, it’s hardly funny (if you’re lucky you get a few cheap chuckles), and it’s downright painful. You know you’re in trouble when your DVD player is making strange noises as if it doesn’t like the film and if you vomit slightly in your mouth. That’s how bad this film is. Not to mention within the first few minutes of watching it I was left saying; “I hate myself, I really do.” Here’s a list of the films this one parodies:

1. Cloverfield.

2. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

3. Juno

4. Alvin and the Chipmunks.

5. No Country For Old Men.

6. Iron Man.

7. The Incredible Hulk.

8. The Dark Knight.

9. Beowulf.

10. Hannah Montana.

11. Hancock.

12. Kung Fu Panda.

13. Wanted.

14. Hellboy.

15. Enchanted.

16. The Love Guru.

17. Speed Racer.

18. High School Musical

AND MORE… UGH.

MUSIC: The musical score is rather terrible and rather annoying.

ACTING: I hated each and every one of these actors. I especially hated the actress who did a parody of Juno because she pissed me off so much. None of the actors were funny and I wished they would all die.

HUMOR: The only part of the film I found somewhat funny was the parody of those annoying Head On commercials, any other slight chuckles I had were killed off almost immediately afterwards. This film is nothing more than an incredibly crappy parody. You know, I’m surprised it’s not like The Happening; except instead of wind making people kill themselves, it’s this film every time someone watches it.

ACTION: This film has very badly scripted action parodies that continued to make the quality of this film shoot straight down. Every moment of the action scenes was awful and nothing worthy of talking about.

OVERALL: Unless you are contemplating suicide, run away from this wretched disaster flick.

THE GOOD: The Head On parody.

THE BAD: Everything else.